Today is my niece’s birthday. She is the second born of my eight nieces and nephews. She is a 28-year-old with an old soul.
Heather is the eldest child of my brother, Andy. What she wants most for her birthday this year, she told me last night, is for me to write about her dad. Write your favorite story about him, she said.
I laid awake last night thinking about what I could write. I remembered several little incidents that might be interesting to my brother’s daughter, but the more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that I should write, not about my favorite thing about him, but about his favorite thing. I believe that most folks would agree that there is a very special relationship between a dad and his oldest daughter.
There were four of us Hudspeth kids growing up in Senatobia, MS during the 1960’s and 1970’s. Now there are two. I am the oldest, then my sister, Gail, then Andy and finally, the youngest, Jeff. Gail passed away suddenly in 1998 and Andy followed her five years later.
As the oldest sister, I was always the caregiver, the responsible one, the adult among the quartet of Hudspeth kids. Andy was the middle child – the clown, the one who was always in the center of things, the fun one who got away with things that my parents would have killed me for doing. He was the Yin to my Yang. I studied hard, worked hard, fought hard to succeed in my career. Andy played hard. What took concentrated effort and strategic planning for me to achieve, he got with his charm and good looks. A born salesman, everyone liked him and he did not meet a stranger. He was funny, friendly, a good guy. What he lacked in formal education, he made up in street smarts. Though I was forever mad at him for something I thought he did wrong and I was always fussing at him for something, in my heart of hearts, I knew that there was a very thin line between me and him. He could be very compassionate and caring, but he was also very practical when it came to taking care of family.
When Heather was small, she and Andy were inseparable. They would ride around in his truck wearing matching cowboy hats and listening to country music. He talked to his children, spent time with them, worried about them. I told him that he worried too much about Heather. That’s what good dads do, he said.
Once when my husband and I had a little spat, I ended up at Andy’s house. Heather and her mom were out of town that weekend and I went to Andy, crying and upset. He sat and listened to me complain and bellyache, tucked me into Heather’s bed that night, woke me up with a cup of coffee and then told me to go home. I did. Family was what mattered most to my brother.
This day twenty eight years ago was the happiest day of my brother’s life. All the jobs, the cars, the fun times --- all the other things he cared about pale in comparison to what he felt on January 7, 1983. Really, all Andy really ever wanted was to be a good dad. Even with all the financial and personal problems he had, I believe he succeeded.
Heather is the most HUDSPETH of all my nieces and nephews. She is headstrong and passionate about whatever she believes in. She is not a chatter. Give her the bottom line and let her make her own decision. Once she makes a decision, changing her mind is pretty much impossible. She is very goal oriented and results driven. She knows what she wants and goes and gets it. She is so much like me – and her dad - that I feel like I know her inside and out. I see Andy in her smile, the sparkle in her eyes, her sense of humor, her short temper, her impatience and her determination. Andy was always so proud of Heather and he would delight in the young lady she has become.
I remember when Heather was three or four years old, she and her mom and dad went on vacation with Dennis and me. We went on a road trip to Eureka Springs, Arkansas for a long weekend. There was a lake we visited that had a large flock of geese – the biggest and prettiest geese I have ever seen. You could buy bird food and feed the geese, so we bought a large container of grain for Heather to feed to the geese. When the birds saw the little girl with the bucket of food, they came rushing to her squawking and flapping their huge wings. Even though she wanted more than anything to feed the birds, they terrified her. Andy immediately lifted her up onto his shoulders so she could see the gorgeous creatures but they could not scare her. He carried the excited little chubby-cheeked girl on his shoulders for the rest of the day.
As the mother of a 5 year old, Heather’s life today is hectic and demanding. She and her husband, Shaun, are trying to build their careers while building a good home for their young family. Life is sometimes difficult and scary. At times like this, Heather thinks of her dad. And, he still lifts her up so she can see and is not afraid. That’s just what good dads do.
